Saturday, September 27, 2008

The Process of Grieving

I wanted to share another article from the DailyOM. This one came to me yesterday...stuff I've been thinking about lately put into a nice perspective.

Becoming Whole Again

The Process of Grieving

When we experience any kind of devastating loss, whether it is the loss of a loved one, a dream, or a relationship, feelings may arise within us that are overwhelming or difficult to cope with. This sense of grief can also come up when we are separated from anyone or anything we have welcomed into our lives. And while it may feel like we are caught up in a never-ending spiral of sadness and emptiness, it is important to remember that the grief we are feeling is not a permanent state of being. Rather, grief is part of the process of letting go that in many ways can be a gift, allowing us to go deeper within ourselves to rediscover the light amidst the seeming darkness.

The emotions that accompany any kind of loss can be intense and varied. A sense of shock or denial is often the first reaction, to be replaced by anger. Sometimes this anger can be directed at your loved one for “abandoning” you; at other times you may feel outrage toward the universe for what you are enduring. And while there are stages of grief that people go through – moving from denial to anger to bargaining to depression to acceptance – the cycles of grief often move in spirals, sometimes circling forward and then back again. You may even experience moments of strength, faith, and laughter in between. While these emotions seem to come and go sporadically, it is important to feel them, accept them, and allow them to flow. With time, patience, and compassion, you will eventually find your center again.

As we move through our grief, we may find ourselves reluctant to release our pain, fearing we are letting go of who or what we have lost. We may even regard our movement toward healing as an act of disloyalty or giving up. Know that while the hurt may fade, the essence of what you had and who you loved will have already transformed you and forever stay with you. If anything, once you are ready for the pain of your loss to subside, their memories can then live more fully within you. Remember, that healing is a part of the spiraling cycles of grief, and that in letting yourself feel restored again, you are surrendering to a natural movement that is part of the dance of life.

13 comments:

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

"surrendering to a natural movement..."--well put, and what else can you do?

Lauren said...

:-)
:-(

Hemanth Potluri said...

good one ....:(..some point had loads feeling's..

urs..hemu..

justlori2day said...

That was very nice. I have to admit that I am still, after 7 years, having a hard time finding that center again, more like I am on a disc balanced on a stick - me on one side, and no one on the other - like I have to run around the circle to stay balanced. She always kept the otherside balanced for me. If only I could get to the center.

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

but I hope it isn't wrong to say happy birthday to you?

The Fearless Blog said...

Jessica

I am sorry for your grandmother's loss. My you find comfort in her memory always...

Jessica said...

Gary,
It's not!! :) Thanks for thinking of me.

Fearless,
Thanks for the kind thoughts. :)

Jessica said...

Lauren,
Yeah pretty much! :)

Hemu,
You are right. :)

Lori,
I'm sorry. I have faith, you will find your center. The time it takes is different for everyone.

Arv said...

its so true... like they say, its part of our journey and trying to get away from it is not the answer.

Hope you are doing good mate.. take care... cheers...

Ferd said...

I read a report some time ago that people who live to very old ages, like 100, are able to go through this grieving process very quickly. They have suffered many losses, and are able to bounce back. That is one of the reasons they made it to 100 in the first place!

prajyot said...

good post...it was full of feelings indulged into it

mitra said...

"We may even regard our movement toward healing as an act of disloyalty or giving up"
Very true and very well expressed..
nice article,jessica.:)

Jessica said...

Arv,
I agree...the more we try to get away from it the more we have to go through.

Ferd,
That sounds about right, doesn't it? :)

Prajyot,
Thanks, and welcome!

Mitra,
I love the dailyom! :)