Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Why Do Men Murder Their Wives?

So, I was sitting here wondering if I was going to post today. It’s not that I have a lack of ideas, creativity, or even motivation…I’m just worn out, and feeling kind of lazy. But then I was reading an article, and felt compelled to write about this topic.

Why do so many men murder their wives? The latest one who has been prosecuted can be read about here.

I know women murder their husbands too, but it seems men do it more often, or at least we hear about it more often.

These men can’t all be crazy. Can they?

I often wonder, if he wants out of the relationship, why doesn’t the husband just leave his wife.

Take it from me guys, a women would much rather deal with a broken heart…then a heart that is no longer beating.

Some may be in it for insurance money, but not all of them are. So what is it…I just can’t figure it out.

Has there been a rise in this lately, or is it just what the media is focused on?

I guess, for me, this topic sparks a lot of questions and speculation, but not a lot of answers.


Anonymous Mom said...

Its a fact that more men murder their wives (don't ask me where I read that but I read it somewhere reliable).

They are investigating the possible murder of a woman who was on her honeymoon and also found a dead pregnant woman in a hotel. They suspect the husband in both cases.

I don't know why but it takes a very psychotic type of person (someone with no conscious) to choose murder over divorce.

MYM said...

It is odd how love can sometimes turn to hate and then murder.

When I was going thru my divorce, my therapist suggested I read a book, I think it was called 'crazy time'. It was actually very helpful. I wasn't feeling murderous, lol ... but it did talk about that subject ... about how people kinda lose it. It's like they go a little crazy and do things so out of the ordinary when they lose the one they love...or used to love.

A New Yorker said...

Power, sickness...dunno. I understand what Drowsey was saying though. When you are really hurting from a relationship your mind literally does not work properly. I know I read THAT in a book.

Arv said...

Crimes of Passion are a mysterious thing... The media reports them here with so much speculation too.

The causes range from adultery to an angry outburst gone bad.

To me, the cause doesnt matter cos its still a crime and very unfortunate.

You are right about the break-up part, its better to move out rather than staying in a uncomfortable relationship.

Have a nice day, Jessica, Cheers...

Hemanth Potluri said...

ok to be frank i am not married ....that's better part....but can tell u one thing...if a chaeting life is continuing it leads to a distruction ..if they break up and move on thats a better option....
Jessica as u said break up the very best better option ..

...urs hemu..

Here, There, Elsewhere... and more said...

I never have, and never will, understand violence (of any kind) -sorry to sound so naive..! - there is always an alternative...
I despair when I come across such articles, particularly in cases of newly married couples, why don't they just leave..?
Have a great weekend :)

Malcolm said...

My theory to why men murder their wives is because at the time, it probably seems like a quick fix to a big problem. I'll bet that many of them figure that the financial crunch they'll face with a divorce is too much and murder is the only answer. The problem with that kind of thinking is that quick fixes usually end up causing more problems... my guess is that most murderers get caught, tried, and sentenced for their crime.

You brought up an interesting question regarding what stories receive the most focus by the media. Although I'm not going to question that more men murder their spouses than do women, I do wonder if the disparity is as great as we are led to believe.

One problem with the mainstream media is that they suffer from what has been termed Missing White Woman Syndrome (MWWS)or Missing Pretty Girl Syndrome. If we were to believe the mainstream media, the only people who are murdered, kidnapped, etc. are relatively young, female, white, middle-class, and attractive. I don't know about anyone else, but I find it hard to believe that there aren't any middle-aged overweight white women, Hispanic males, etc. who aren't victims of violent crimes. The only time that a missing person/murder victim who doesn't fit the MWWS/MPGS profile receives mainstream media coverage is when it's pointed out that the story isn't being properly covered.

Jessica said...

I don’t doubt it!
I heard about the honeymoon case. Apparently he asked her to put him on her life insurance policy before they were even married.

That’s a good point. A crime of passion is something I didn’t think about. Emotions can be a crazy thing sometimes.

Definitely sickness. I understand hurting…it’s just hard for me to comprehend how be hurt turns into murder, unless you’re sick to begin with.

I agree…just take a few breaths, step back, and leave the situation.

Yeah, I’m thinking maybe these guys are just all about power. Maybe, they think subconsciously the only way to control the situation is to kill their wives. That way… their family, instead of being upset about the break up can offer sympathy to a grieving husband.

You don’t sound naive. I often have trouble understanding how it gets to that point.

Yeah…it’s pretty much not the best decision from all aspects. It does seem like murderers more than likely do get caught.

Good points about the media coverage. I agree with you…the coverage is very biased.

About, missing persons…I always wonder, who is out there that could be found if only they had the proper coverage in the media.

I just thought of something…I don’t know who would watch it, and maybe there is something like this already. But what about a channel devoted to recent crimes. I’m talking about like a 24 to 48 period. It could even be specialized by region. Citizens could help the police, by becoming aware, maybe they know the suspect…seen the victim etc.

Reflections Magazine editor said...

I too have asked myself similar questions. I have always believed that people who kill people are mentally ill. They may also be "evil" but in addition to the evil side there is something that just doesn't work right in their mind. Jealousy and anger can lead to very destructive behavior (I have seen it) but the question is where does this "very destructive" behavior live?

When you kill another person, at that moment you must not see any value in that person. How can someone not value life? A human life? Perhaps the person taking the life sees no value or worth in his or her own life. Sad isn't it?

Great thought provoking post.

Jessica said...

Thanks for your input. :) The value thing is sad, and scary...but that's what it really comes down to.

Malcolm said...

Jessica: I don't know if there is such a channel, but it's an excellent idea for one. Due to the increased ratings that news outlets generate when a true crime story is in the headlines, I have no doubt that channel such as the one you described would generate high ratings.

Jessica said...

I agree. When I was in North Carolina this past weekend I saw something interesting at a gas station that I had never encountered before. There was a newspaper type magazine that listed the recently arrested and recently released criminals in the area. Mug shots and all. To me, it was a bit strange, but overall I thought it was a cool idea.